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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29026929">in the blue hours</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluelemonboy/pseuds/bluelemonboy'>bluelemonboy</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Akaashi Keiji &amp; Kozume Kenma Friendship, Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou Fluff, Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou-centric, Blood and Violence, Bokuto Koutarou &amp; Kuroo Tetsurou are Bros, Character Death, Gun Violence, M/M, Major Character Injury, Mental Health Issues, Minor Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou, Murder, Original Character Death(s), POV Akaashi Keiji, POV Bokuto Koutarou, POV Kozume Kenma</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 03:40:36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,596</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29026929</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluelemonboy/pseuds/bluelemonboy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Would you be willing to kill in the name of love? Akaashi finds himself increasingly wanting to get rid of the people threatening to break him away from Bokuto. </p>
<p>in the blue hours is a bokuaka university au featuring murder and violence as well as major character death(s).</p>
<p>Content warnings: murder, major character death(s), gunshots, violence, drowning, mental health issues, overdose, injections/needles, car crashes, psychiatric treatment.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>in the blue hours</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I must admit, this was incredibly hard to write. It features some original characters and takes heavy inspiration from The Secret History by Donna Tartt. The format is written in brief time stamps so the story and character development is built from the subtext of a few short scenes. I hope you like it!!.</p>
<p>Any and all feedback will be heavily appreciated hehe you can tell me on Twitter @boywiththelemon !!</p>
<p>your resident gay disaster,<br/>lemonboy</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b> <em>in the blue hours</em> </b>
</p>
<p>
  <em> content warnings: murder, major character death(s), overdose, psychiatric treatment, car crashes, drownings, gunshots,mental health issues, violence, needles/injections. </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p><b> <em>prologue</em> </b> <b></b></p>
<p>It would’ve been so much better if he was scared. Unfortunately, the entire prospect did nothing more than irk him. He could barely see past the red halo tinging his vision. Akaashi peers down at the lady in the chair, her nose bleeding into the white gag.</p>
<p>She wakes with a start and her eyes fill with a human confusion. </p>
<p>‘You know exactly what you did.’ He says, as an answer to an unspoken question. </p>
<p>She shakes her head.</p>
<p>He yanks her towards him by her collar. ‘He almost died – <em> because of you. </em>’</p>
<p>She pleads with him silently but he doesn’t feel anything for her. </p>
<p>‘I won’t let you hurt him ever again<em> . </em>’</p>
<p>He kicks the chair and it tumbles off the pier into the lake, dragging the terror-stricken woman under water. He picks up the bricks bound to the ropes and methodically chucks them into the water, watching as the surface ripples with disruption. </p>
<p>Akaashi waits until the dark lake stills before trudging back to his car and driving into the night.</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <b> <em>23:50</em> </b>
</p>
<p>When Akaashi reaches the pub, he can't find Bokuto anywhere near his friends. He goes around the side of the bar to find Bokuto pushed against the brick wall, a boy leaning into him. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>He coughs and the two figures turn, looking like deer caught in the headlights. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>'Akaashi.' Bokuto lights up in drunken bliss. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>'You know this guy?' </p>
<p> </p>
<p>'This is<em> — uh, </em> someone from my class.' </p>
<p> </p>
<p>'It's Aoi.' The boy places a hand on his slender hips. 'Can't you see that we're in the middle of something?' </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Akaashi sighs. 'I'm leaving.' He stalks out onto the street and gets into his car. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Not a moment passes when Bokuto slips into the passenger seat, looking like a kicked puppy. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>'Are you mad at me?' </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘No, not really.' </p>
<p> </p>
<p>'You're mad at me, <em> aren't you?'  </em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>He peers into his boyfriend's watery gold eyes as they stop at a signal. 'I'm not mad at you. You're drunk and he was coming onto you<em> .' </em> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>'But I didn't see him coming onto me.' </p>
<p> </p>
<p>He pauses, considering his next words carefully.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> 'Do you love me?' </p>
<p> </p>
<p>'Akaashii, you know I love you the most—' He whines. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>'Then you know that I could never be mad at you. I trust you, Kotarou.' </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Bokuto goes silent at that, sinking into the seat in drunken satisfaction. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>'Thanks for picking me up.' </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Akaashi exhales in relief.  'No problem.' </p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <b> <em>10:00</em> </b>
</p>
<p>Akaashi steps out of the closet to find Bokuto still snoring softly under the covers. He plants a fleeting kiss on his forehead before grabbing his bag and walking out the door.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>'Bokuto actually let someone come onto him?' Kenma blinks in confusion. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>'It's weird, <em> right </em>?' </p>
<p> </p>
<p>'Do you know who it was?' </p>
<p> </p>
<p>'Not really. Just someone from his class.' </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kenma whips out his phone. 'I'll ask Kuroo about it.'  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>'Don't bother. I'm sure it's just a one-off thing. He was drunk out of his mind last night.' Akaashi doesn't sound reassuring, even to himself.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He surveys the old library absentmindedly. It's woefully devoid of people this morning. Normally, he liked these quiet study sessions with his friend. But it was impossible to concentrate in his current state.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kenma opens his books and uncaps his pen. ‘Do you want to come over tonight?’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He doesn’t look up. ‘<em> I can’t </em>. Bokuto has a psych appointment.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Oh.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘This is the first one after the overdose.’ Akaashi admits, hesitantly. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Ah, do you think he’ll be okay?’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘It wasn’t fatal and it’s been a month.’ His fingers tremble in his lap. ‘He seems fine.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘It’ll be alright.’ Kenma flashes one of his rare smiles. ‘You should come over for dinner this week – whenever you’re free.’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Yeah. I’d like that.’</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <b> <em>16:46</em> </b>
</p>
<p>Akaashi parks in front of the hospital and turns to Bokuto. ‘Don’t be scared, you’ll be alright.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Bokuto grins in retort. ‘Akaashi, I’ll be fine.’ He leans forward and ruffles his hair. ‘I’ll be back in a bit.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘I’ll wait right here.’ </p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <b> <em>14:30</em> </b>
</p>
<p>Bokuto finds Akaashi in the tub, reading a book. He slips out of his clothes and joins him. They’re sitting across from each other and the water is lukewarm. Bokuto rests his head on Akaashi’s knee.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He feels a hand run through his hair, smoothing it down. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘How was training?’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Not bad. We’re not training too hard before the summer.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Akaashi doesn’t say anything, but the careful stiffness disappears. It’s replaced by an all too familiar calm. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>For a few moments the only sounds between them are flipping pages and rippling bathwater. Bokuto sighs. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Do you want to go see Kuroken?’ He pauses for effect, but there’s none. ‘They’re having a party.’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>There’s no response. Bokuto looks up to see Akaashi sleeping with his head balanced on the rim of the tub, open book dangling from the edge.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Bokuto rests on Akaashi’s shoulder, consciously trying to be as light as possible. It seemed like Akaashi was always exhausted and stiff these days. Maybe it was his fault for scaring him last month – when he’d overdosed on his antidepressants. Bokuto sighs. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘I’m sorry, Akaashi.’ He mutters against his shoulder.</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <b> <em>22:34</em> </b>
</p>
<p>Kuroo is saying something, but Bokuto’s eyes are across the room, trained on his partner. Akaashi had woken up in a daze long after the bath had gone cold, but he’d smiled wearily and nodded at Bokuto’s request. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘<em> Bokuto </em>–’ Kuroo taps him on the shoulder. ‘What were you saying about your psychiatrist?’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Oh, apparently she disappeared. I have a new psychiatrist.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘How did she <em> just </em> disappear?’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘I don’t know.’ He shrugs. ‘Somewhere in the last month, they said she just vanished.’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘That’s not creepy at all.’ Kuroo mutters into his glass. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Just then, Akaashi wanders into the kitchen. ‘Can I get a refill?’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kuroo grabs the bottle of vodka and tips it into the glass. ‘Akaashi, I thought you didn’t drink on weekdays.’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘I need something to keep me awake.’ As if on cue, he yawns. ‘Do you have any red bull?’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Bokuto nudges him. ‘<em> Akaashii, </em> that’ll keep you up all night.’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘That’s good, I have a lab report to finish when we get home.’ He tops his glass and flashes teeth at them. ‘But first, Mariokart.’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Man, chemistry seems like a nightmare. So much work.’ Kuroo remarks as they watch Akaashi retreat to the crowded couch. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Aren’t you a finance student?’ Bokuto retorts.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>But Kuroo just scoffs and pours some more vodka.</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <b> <em>12:20</em> </b>
</p>
<p>Akaashi wakes to find his face buried in bare skin. He shifts slightly and a hand rises to envelope him. Bokuto’s hot breath tickles his ear as they lean into each other. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Morning.’ His voice is still drugged with drowsiness.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Good morning.’ Akaashi whispers.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Before he can say anything else, Bokuto’s stomach grumbles between them. He sits up and rubs his head. ‘Shall I make breakfast?’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Bokuto sits up and nuzzles his neck, his arms snaking around Akaashi’s slender waist. ‘Aren’t you hungry, too?’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘A little.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Can we go get some rice porridge?’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘That sounds like a plan.’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Bokuto reaches up and kisses him before slipping out of the bed and heading into the bathroom. After a moment, Akaashi follows him.</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <b> <em>13:00</em> </b>
</p>
<p>‘Bokuto, it’s funny seeing you here.’ Aoi catches them from across the small restaurant.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Oh, hey.’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Have you been busy?’ His mouth curves into a pout. ‘You haven’t really answered my texts.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Bokuto shrugs. ‘I’m not really good at answering texts.’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Just then, Aoi’s friends call to him. He places a hand on Bokuto’s shoulder. ‘I’ll see you in class?’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>He shies away. ‘Yeah.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The boy smiles and saunters away, but it feels like he’s still here. Akaashi sighs and feels his boyfriend nudge his shaking leg under the table. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Are you okay?’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘I’m fine.’ It’s almost mechanical now.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘I don’t like him.’ Bokuto mutters.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Me neither.’ He admits.</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <b> <em>20:45</em> </b>
</p>
<p>Akaashi leans on Bokuto and groans. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘This is annoying.’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Bokuto pats his head reassuringly. ‘It’s okay, Akaashii. I know you got this.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Sometimes, I want to drop out and become a manga illustrator.’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘I think you’d be good at that too.’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘If you think so, Kotarou.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Okay, if you finish this report –’ He pauses, a pensive look growing on his face. ‘We can order Chinese takeout.’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Akaashi grins. ‘I <em> do </em>like takeout, but I think I want something else.’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Bokuto leans closer. ‘What?’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>His fingers curl into an ‘o’ and he averts his eyes as he motions lewdly. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Bokuto retracts, a wild blush creeping up his neck to his face. He covers his face with his hands and Akaashi feels a smile tugging at his lips. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Y—<em> yes </em>.’ A small voice stammers.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘I better get to work, then.’ </p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <b> <em>11:00</em> </b>
</p>
<p>‘You’re more shameless than I thought.’ Kenma smirks, staring at his bruised neck. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Akaashi adjusts his tee-shirt in the bathroom mirror – <em> Bokuto’s shirt </em> – and reaches for his hair. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘I didn’t really have time to cover up.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘It’s alright. I don’t think anybody cares.’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>They walk down the hallways and turn towards the science building café. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘I heard that Bokuto’s psychiatrist disappeared.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘I know, it’s weird.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Maybe the new one is better, though?’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘I don’t know.’ Akaashi sighs. ‘I don’t think he likes it when I ask about his sessions.’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘That’s probably not true.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Every time I bring it up, he gets all stiff and distracted.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘I’m sure he needs you more than he lets on.’ </p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <b> <em>16:00</em> </b>
</p>
<p>Akaashi ducks around the corner and stands against the wall. His breaths come out inconsistently and he stills himself. When he peeks out, Aoi is gone.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Just then, someone taps him on the shoulder. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Looking for someone?’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Akaashi’s stomach jumps as he finds himself face to face with the boy he had been tailing.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘You’re Bokuto’s friend, right<em> ?’ </em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>Akaashi averts his gaze and shoves his hands into his pockets.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Listen<em> , </em> I like him – and I’m sure you could get us together.’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>He bites the inside of his cheek hard. <em> God, when was this going to end? </em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘I don’t want to –’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Oh.’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>They stare at each other in suffocating silence, until someone calls for Aoi from the parking lot. The boy turns, fingers almost white on the strap of his bag. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘You won’t get in my way, will you<em> ?’ </em></p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <b> <em>9:30</em> </b>
</p>
<p>‘He’s on the school track team.’ Akaashi mutters as he takes notes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘<em> Who?’ </em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Matsuba Aoi.’ He turns to Kenma. ‘He wants to date Bokuto.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘He told you that?’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Akaashi nods. ‘He caught me outside the gym.’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘—and he doesn’t know that Bokuto is your boyfriend?’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘No. I forgot to tell him.’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘How did you forget that?’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘I don’t know, <em> maybe </em> I want Bokuto to tell him.’ He feels a flare go off in his brain, but stamps it out almost immediately.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kenma sighs resignedly. ‘Do you mind if I bring Hinata to your party this weekend?’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He shrugs. ‘I think Bokuto’s invited the entire team, anyway.’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Why do I feel like you’re going to end up with a noise complaint?’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Akaashi smiles wryly. ‘You’re probably right.’ </p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <b> <em>23:25</em> </b>
</p>
<p>Akaashi hesitates in front of the door, his hand hovering over the handle. He can hear the sound of music reverberating through the walls, but he doesn’t know what to expect. Before he can enter, the door opens and Bokuto looms over him. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>His face lights up as he recognises Akaashi and he tackles him in a hug, kissing the edge of his mouth in his drunken stupor.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘You’re finally back from the library!’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Akaashi grins. ‘Where are you going?’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘I’m going to get more beer.’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>He shoves his books into his bag. ‘Can I come with you?’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Bokuto takes his hand and slips it into his jacket pocket. ‘Of course, Akaashii.’ </p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <b> <em>12:00</em> </b>
</p>
<p>Akaashi stops in his tracks at the entrance to the green and grimaces. Kenma nudges him softly, a similar look on his face. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Who’s that – clinging onto Bokuto?’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Aoi.’ He grumbles. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Aren’t you going to stop them?’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Akaashi leans against an old arch. ‘No.’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘What’re you going to do, then?’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Wait here<em> , </em>I guess.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Before Kenma can say anything, Bokuto bounds over, his friends in tow. Bokuto catches Akaashi in his arms and kisses him in front of everyone and he can’t help but think that this is some kind of declaration.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Akaashi glances at Aoi out of the corner of his eye and matches his defeated scowl with a withering glare. </p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <b> <em>16:00</em> </b>
</p>
<p>Kenma felt terrible about his suspicions, but they were almost too good; <em> too haphazard </em> to be false. Maybe he just didn’t want to believe them because Akaashi was his best friend. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Are you okay?’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Akaashi looks up from his books. ‘I’m fine. Why do you ask?’   </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘You’ve been weird.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘What do you mean?’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘You’ve been following Aoi around for over a week.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘I thought he was making a move on Bokuto. I simply wanted to find out.’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘– even after Bokuto kissed you in front of everyone?’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘They’re still close.’ He admits. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘You also borrowed a book on lethal chemical compounds.’ Kenma presses further.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Akaashi’s face wavers, but he relaxes almost immediately. ‘I was doing some supplementary reading.’ He fiddles with his fingers. ‘<em> Besides </em>, that book is merely theoretical.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Really?’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Yeah<em> .’ </em> He gathers his books and stands. ‘I’m sorry, but I have a lab to go to –’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kenma waves him off. ‘I’m just going to study here.’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>He wasn’t done with his questions, but Akaashi did seem congruent about his explanations. There were other things that couldn’t be easily explained – like the fact that Akaashi had been going on late night runs alone into the woods when he could’ve easily joined Bokuto and Kuroo on their runs. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kenma rests his head on his books. ‘I want to believe you.’ He mutters.</p>
<p>
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</p>
<p>
  <b> <em>21:30</em> </b>
</p>
<p>Akaashi ponders over Kenma’s interrogation as he eases into his run. Normally, he would go with Bokuto and Kuroo. But he didn’t like that they ran in the mornings, when it was hot and sticky. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>There was another reason for this exercise. He follows Aoi as the boy takes his usual route through the woods, mapping the trail in his head. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kenma was definitely on the right track earlier. A little more digging and all the coincidences would’ve added up. It was common knowledge that Akaashi was tired of Aoi – but nobody would take it this far. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>His heart sinks to the pit of his stomach and Akaashi finds himself running scared <em> – of one Kenma Kozume. </em></p>
<p>
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</p>
<p>
  <b> <em>20:20</em> </b>
</p>
<p>Kenma catches Bokuto alone in the kitchen, washing the dishes from dinner. He doesn’t want to waste time easing the topic into motion.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Has Akaashi been acting weird?’ He ventures. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Bokuto stops abruptly, but he doesn’t look up. ‘I – yeah?’ </p>
<p>   </p>
<p>‘How exactly has he changed?’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘He just seems exhausted and cold all the time.’ Bokuto resumes his scrubbing. ‘He doesn’t want to run together anymore – and he rarely ever talks to me<em> .’ </em>His voice cracks.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kenma reels, trying to contain the mess that he had started. ‘He’s just been working hard – I’m sure it’ll be alright.’ He adjusts. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Do you think he wants to breakup?’ Bokuto sniffles.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He feels the admonition spark in his bones and spread through him. He gulps and reaches up to squeeze Bokuto’s shoulder. ‘Trust me, he would rather die than let you go.’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Really?’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Yeah.’ Kenma could almost taste his own conviction. ‘Akaashi has been worried, though.’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘I know.’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>He sighs and catches Akaashi approaching them in his peripheral vision. ‘Just talk to him<em> , please? </em>’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Okay.’ Bokuto mumbles.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Promise me.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘I promise.’</p>
<p>
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</p>
<p>
  <b> <em>02:27</em> </b>
</p>
<p>‘Akaashii, are you awake?’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>He turns towards Bokuto and peers into his eyes. The moonlight streaks across the bed, casting his owl-like irises in a soft glow. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Hm?’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Are you okay?’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He sighs exasperatedly. ‘I’m tired.’ He tries to turn away but Bokuto stops him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘It’s just – you’ve been acting weird.’ Bokuto averts his eyes. ‘Is it something I did?’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Akaashi considered his usual excuse, just to avoid this conversation. But his lover deserved the truth. <em> Even if he didn’t want to share all his problems in return. </em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Tell me what’s going on between you and Aoi.’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘<em> Nothing. </em> I told you, he’s just a friend.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘I don’t like him.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘I know.’ Bokuto whispers.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘You used to hate him too.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘He doesn’t matter.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘I don’t like that he’s always with you.’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘We take the same classes together –’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Listen, you’re the one who asked me if I had a problem.’ He sits up. ‘<em> It’s him </em>. Do whatever you want with that information.’ Akaashi slips out of the bed and shuts himself in the bathroom.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When he returns, he finds his boyfriend turned away from him, his chest rising and falling with the weightless uniformity of sleep.</p>
<p>
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</p>
<p>
  <b> <em>09:00</em> </b>
</p>
<p>Akaashi stands in front of the mirror, buttoning his shirt. He’d awoken to an empty bed, which he didn’t mind because it meant he could leave without a confrontation. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Unfortunately, he wasn’t fast enough.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Going to class?’ Bokuto enters and falls back onto the bed. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>He watches his shorts ride up his thighs and nods. ‘Yeah.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Are you mad at me?’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘No.’ He says, too tired to indulge his boyfriend further. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Bokuto sighs. ‘I’m meeting him for lunch today.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Just the two of you?’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘No, it’s for a group project.’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Akaashi lowers his voice. ‘Why’re you telling me this?’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘I don’t have a choice but to see him.’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘I understand.’ He raises his head expectantly. ‘Pick you up after lunch?’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Actually, the place is close to the hospital, so I’ll just walk to therapy.’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Akaashi sighs and walks out on his boyfriend wordlessly. He’d have to deal with the Aoi problem quickly. A thought bubbles in his mind almost immediately. </p>
<p> </p>
<p><em> It’ll be easy, it whispers </em> . <em> You’ve done it before.  </em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>He shakes it off as the clock strikes somewhere and he runs to his class.</p>
<p>
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</p>
<p>
  <b> <em>14:40</em> </b>
</p>
<p>‘I’m sorry I’m late, I had to speak to my professor.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kenma looks up from his notes as Akaashi settles into the seat across from him. He shakes his head and makes a small smile. ‘It’s alright.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The café is crowded and Akaashi can’t help but think that someone is eavesdropping on them.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘I got into a fight with Bokuto.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kenma’s smile disappears. ‘Oh.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He sighs. ‘It’s been brewing for a while.’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘What was it about –’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Aoi.’ He grumbles. ‘They’re getting lunch together right now.’  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Oh.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘It’s my fault – I’ve just been so busy and I haven’t had the time to take care of him.’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘He’s a grown man, he doesn’t need you to take care of him.’ Kenma sips his coffee. ‘He needs someone to listen to him.’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘I’ll make it right tonight.’ He smiles sadly.</p>
<p>
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</p>
<p>
  <b> <em>19:00</em> </b>
</p>
<p>Akaashi finds his fingers trembling as Aoi holds him by the collar and shoves him against the wall. His shoulder blade burns as the boy snarls in his face.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘What did you do to him?’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘What did I do to him?’ He sighs. ‘I haven’t seen him since this morning.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was true<em> , </em> Aoi had found him as he was going back to the apartment after a day of classes. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘There’s something up with him – and it’s because of you.’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘— and you think you can help?’ He mocks. ‘<em> Go on </em>, be his knight in shining armour.’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘I will.’ Aoi scowls. ‘I’m much better than you.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘You don’t even know him.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Akaashi jerks his knee upwards between Aoi’s thighs and the other boy stumbles back, his face twisted in pain.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Go ahead, Aoi.’ He kicks the other boy down and kneels beside him. ‘If I’m really so bad, you’ll be able to convince him to leave me.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘<em> Bastard </em>.’ Aoi mutters as Akaashi turns and walks away.</p>
<p>
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</p>
<p>
  <b> <em>22:30</em> </b>
</p>
<p>‘Akaashi, did you get into a fight?’ Bokuto stumbles out of bed and approaches him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He’s staring at the mirror, in the process of putting a shirt on – when Bokuto runs a finger along his shoulder blade. A searing pain grows from his touch and Akaashi flinches. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘What happened to your back?’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Oh, I fell down the stairs at the library.’ He forces a smile. ‘Help me patch this up?’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Must’ve been a bad fall—’ Bokuto returns from the bathroom with a first aid kit and eases Akaashi onto the bed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He winces as the antiseptic stings his back. ‘I’m sorry.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘It’s okay. This feels like practical work.’ Bokuto laughs.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘<em> No </em>, I’m sorry for overreacting earlier.’ He slumps. ‘I should trust you more.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘All better now.’ Bokuto smiles softly. ‘You know, it’s nice to see you act jealous.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘I’m not jealous.’ He pouts.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Whatever you say, Akaashii.’ </p>
<p>
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</p>
<p>
  <b> <em>17:45</em> </b>
</p>
<p>Akaashi dumps his books into Kenma’s hands and rolls up his sleeves.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘I think you should calm down, Akaashi.’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘It’s too late for that.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He storms down the stairs towards the quad; and Bokuto. His boyfriend is sitting on a bench, with his face resting in Aoi’s palm. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Bokuto glances at him as Aoi leans down, just as Akaashi’s fist connects with his jaw. Aoi falls to the ground with a shout but before Akaashi can go down on him, Bokuto holds him back. </p>
<p> </p>
<p><em> ‘Akaashi— </em> what’re you doing?’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>He whirls on his boyfriend, eyes blurring. ‘What’re <em> you </em> doing?’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘He was checking my pulse for the group project.’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘You can’t possibly expect me to believe that—’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Aoi shuffles to his feet and holds up a clipboard. ‘Believe it, you psycho.’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Are you okay?’ Bokuto peers at Aoi with eyes that he usually only reserved for Akaashi.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kenma pulls Akaashi back. ‘You’re making a scene. We should go.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Do you want me to leave, Bokuto?’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He doesn’t even turn. ‘Just leave, Akaashi.’</p>
<p>
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</p>
<p>
  <b> <em>20:30</em> </b>
</p>
<p>‘Akaashii, will you calm down?’ Bokuto holds him by the shoulders, interrupting his pacing fit across their living room.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘<em> I’m trying </em>— I want to believe you.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Then why can’t you?’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Akaashi averts his gaze. ‘Isn’t it obvious?’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Bokuto’s hands drop to his sides. ‘Listen, I have no feelings towards him. You’re the only person in my heart.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>This was ridiculous. Akaashi believed him wholeheartedly, but he couldn’t shake the feeling of discomfort creeping up his spine. ‘I’m going on a run.’ He blurts out.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Oh.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He’s slipping on his shoes when Bokuto whimpers. ‘Do you want me to come with you?’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘No.’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Akaashi dashes out before his conscience can stop him. </p>
<p>
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</p>
<p>
  <b> <em>21:00</em> </b>
</p>
<p>Kenma squints from his balcony as he tries to identify the figure running into the woods. It’s definitely Akaashi, unmistakeable in his tattered Fukurodani jersey.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He’s about to turn away when he sees another figure follow Akaashi into the woods. Kenma feels a ball drop in the pit of his stomach. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> Akaashi was in danger. </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Where are you going?’ Kuroo looks up from the bar, notes spread out around him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘The convenience store.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Remember to get some detergent.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Okay.’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>He doesn’t bother to lace up his boots as his morbid curiosity propels him into the forest. He’d heard of Akaashi’s late night runs, but he couldn’t make sense of them. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> But now, this was something. </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em> ‘ </em>Oh, look who it is— Akaashi.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Aoi, I’m in the middle of something.’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kenma peeks out of the bush onto the cliff’s edge and watches as the two boys step closer. He blinks in the darkness and curses the new moon silently. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘You’ve been stalking me for a while now.’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Akaashi scoffs. ‘You’re the one who followed me into the woods.’ He pauses. ‘I guess you want to go for round two.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kenma wills his heart to be still. This was a side of Akaashi that he’d never seen. He wonders if Bokuto had ever faced this—it was brash and nasty and terrifying.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Piss off, I’m just here for a run.’ Aoi pushes past Akaashi.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kenma resists the urge to rush out and help his friend, but he holds himself back. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Aoi—’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Stop bothering me—’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>But the boy gets cut off mid-sentence as Akaashi shoves him backwards. He slips on the crumbling rocks and tumbles over the edge, shouting and shouting until he can’t anymore. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kenma watches in horror as Akaashi starts the descent downward, unfazed by his actions.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He peers over the cliff’s edge as Akaashi inspects the mangled body down below. He watches as his best friend runs off into the woods without a second glance.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kenma recoils as the flood of emotions threaten to overwhelm him. He stumbles back the way he came and runs into the apartment breathlessly, unable to speak or hear or feel anything. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘You’re back—where’s the detergent?’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>He follows the sound of Kuroo’s voice and buries himself in his boyfriend, unable to stop himself from trembling like a leaf.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em> ‘Kenma </em>? What’s wrong?’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p><em> Where do I even begin? </em> —he thinks. But he can’t bring himself to say it; to say anything. He just clings onto Kuroo and tries to stop thinking.</p>
<p>
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</p>
<p>
  <b> <em>11:30</em> </b>
</p>
<p>Kenma exits his class to find Akaashi leaning against the far wall of the corridor, reading a bright pink book.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He shoves his shaking hands into his pockets as Akaashi strolls over. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Kenma, are you free?’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Yeah.’ He manages. ‘You okay?’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘I have something to tell you. Wanna get coffee? – I’ll buy.’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kenma pales, but he nods along. He admonishes himself as they walk out of the business department. After all, this was Akaashi – murderer or not, he was his best friend. </p>
<p>
  <em> He wouldn’t hurt him, right? </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Thank you for stopping me the yesterday.’ Akaashi smiles tiredly as Kenma sinks into the couch.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>His heart stops. <em> When did he stop him? </em> The images flash behind his eyes, blood and gravel. Then, he remembers the encounter on the quad. ‘No problem.’ He mutters.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Are you sure you’re okay?’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘I’m just tired.’ He finishes his tea. ‘I think I’m going to go take a nap at home.’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Oh.’ Akaashi blinks in confusion. ‘Okay, then. Don’t let me keep you.’ To prove his point, he pulls out the book from before—How to talk about the hard stuff to your boyfriend.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Even this seemed like it had been carefully curated for this situation. Kenma forces a smile and walks out, consciously trying to look casual. </p>
<p>
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</p>
<p>
  <b> <em>19:12</em> </b>
</p>
<p>‘Kuroo, are you going for a run?’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Yeah, why?’ His boyfriend looks up from the entryway. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Don’t—’ But Kenma stops himself. Saying something would only make it even more complicated. </p>
<p> </p>
<p><em> Aoi’s body hadn’t surfaced in four days </em>. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>For all he knew, it was still at the bottom of the ravine. As much as he didn’t want Kuroo to chance upon it, he couldn’t exactly explain the situation. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘What?’ Kuroo drags him from his thoughts.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Don’t push yourself too hard.’ He adjusts.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘I won’t. I’m just heading to the track in the park.’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kenma sighs in relief. ‘Okay.’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kuroo smiles. ‘I love you. See you in a bit.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘I love you too.’ He replies absentmindedly.</p>
<p>
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</p>
<p>
  <b> <em>19:20</em> </b>
</p>
<p>Bokuto breaks into a grin and waves as Kuroo jogs towards the bench. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Sorry I’m late, I was talking to Kenma.’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘It’s okay, I was just thinking.’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘I didn’t know you did that.’ Kuroo smiles dryly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Bokuto shoves him. ‘<em> I do </em>. I think about Akaashii all the time.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘That’s gay, bro.’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Bokuto shrugs. ‘Can’t help it.’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>They’re a mile onto the track when he ventures into another dialogue.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Has Kenma been okay?’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘I think so?’ Kuroo raises an eyebrow. ‘Why do you ask?’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Akaashi said that he’s been avoiding him.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Maybe they’re fighting.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘He said that they weren’t.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘<em> God </em>, it’s just one weird event after another.’ Kuroo muses.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘What do you mean?’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘A few nights ago, Kenma went on a walk. He came back looking like he’d seen a ghost.’ Kuroo leans against a tree. ‘He didn’t speak a word until the next morning.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Then what?’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘He still won’t tell me—and I don’t know how to ask him.’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Oh.’ Bokuto pauses. ‘Wait, I got this book, it’s really good.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘What?’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘It’s called how to talk about the hard stuff to your boyfriend.’ He grins. ‘Got me and Akaashi out of a big argument.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was true, Akaashi had come back from his run four nights ago and something had changed. The tense air had all but disappeared and he had even apologised while crying into Bokuto’s chest. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Since when do you read for fun?’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Bokuto blinks cluelessly and Kuroo chuckles.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘You are full of surprises, bro.’</p>
<p>
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</p>
<p>
  <b> <em>19:33</em> </b>
</p>
<p>Kenma’s fears surrounding Akaashi only died down in the week after the murder. It was partly because finals were coming up and he had other concerns. It also had something to do with the silver pistol he now carried everywhere.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Whenever he felt terrible about doubting his best friend, it was muffled by the resounding notes of Aoi’s murder. Even in the silent library, the sounds echoed grotesquely.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> <em> Would Akaashi ever tell me? – he thinks.  </em></p>
<p><br/>Being around Kuroo was especially hard. Keeping this secret was slowly killing their relationship. But without any evidence, he wouldn’t believe it. Kenma draws a recorder from his pocket and fiddles with it. He’d have to get Akaashi to confess.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> He would listen, right?  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He reaches into his bag and his hand brushes the loaded barrel. Kenma hopes that he won’t be forced to use it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>As if on cue, the murderer appears, smiling in his familiar soft way. ‘How long have you been here?’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> How could you do that to someone? – Kenma thinks.  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Not long. Just finishing an essay.’ He smiles back.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Oh, good. I just thought we could get dinner together.’ Akaashi rubs his neck. ‘I texted you but you didn’t reply.’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Sorry, I haven’t checked my phone in hours.’ He pauses. ‘Do you want to wait? I’ll be done within the hour.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Okay.’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>He watches as Akaashi takes the seat beside him and whips out the relationship help book, not sparing him a second glance. He could do this—<em> the Akaashi beside him would never hurt him. </em>Kenma sighs and turns back to his essay, trying to think of anything but his best friend.</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <b> <em>20:42</em> </b>
</p>
<p>‘You know, <em> don’t you?’  </em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>At first, Kenma isn’t sure that he’s heard it correctly. But the implication drifts over them like a blanket, suffocating him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He reaches for the nigiri shakily and nods. <em> There was no going back now. </em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>Akaashi stiffens. ‘Will you tell anyone?’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kenma shakes his head and cautiously raises his gaze to Akaashi’s. His face is impassive, but there’s a riot of emotion behind his eyes. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘W—why did you do it?’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘I didn’t mean to—it just happened that way.’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘How could you?’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Akaashi sighs. ‘Don’t ask me. I wouldn’t be able to tell you.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘I—’ Kenma fills his mouth with food to cover for his speechlessness.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘You don’t have to worry about it.’ Akaashi ventures.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>‘</em>How could I not worry<em> –’ </em>His voice climbs and a passing waiter shoots a glance at them. ‘—when my best friend literally killed —’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘I won’t get caught, if that’s what you’re wondering.’ Akaashi cuts him off. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘What?’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘You see, he used to go running there almost every night. Our university warns against going into the woods because of the hidden cliffs and pitfalls, but he never was the type to listen.’ Akaashi pauses. ‘It’ll be written off as a terrible accident and that’s all it will ever be.’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘But they haven’t found the body yet.’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘I thought of that, too.’ His narration is so casually methodical that anyone listening in would be unbelieving. ‘Bokuto’s group presentation was last week. Aoi was absent and the university is bound to launch an investigation any time now.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kenma tries fruitlessly to distract himself with the sushi. His heart thunders in his head and the words ring in his ears <em> – killer, killer, killer. </em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘The only thing I wasn’t counting on was you.’ Akaashi runs a hand through his hair. ‘You’ve always been the smartest of all of us.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘You knew that I was there?’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘No, but you went on a run the night that it happened and you’ve been avoiding me for the past week. Isn’t it obvious?’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘I don’t care about it. I didn’t hear anything.’ He doesn’t even believe himself but it works on Akaashi.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The murderer smiles. ‘I knew I could count on you.’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kenma chuckles humourlessly. He didn’t know what to do—now that the truth had been confirmed. His fears felt omnipresent and Akaashi was clearly a threat. Somewhere along the line he’d lost his best friend – all because he cared too much. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kenma steels himself as Akaashi pays the bill and they stand to leave. The pistol weighs his bag down but he barely notices it anymore.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘I’ll drive you home.’ Akaashi winks.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Yeah.’ He offers a smile in return.</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b> <em>highway to hell</em> </b>
</p>
<p>Kenma’s fingers tremble as they wrap around the leather handle of the gun in his bag. He isn’t really listening to what Akaashi’s talking about— but it’s something about the relationship book.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He exhales softly as he draws the pistol and holds it against the side of his friend’s forehead. Akaashi’s eyes widen, but it’s only momentary.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Drive to the police station.’ He gulps. <em> ‘Now </em>.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Are you going to kill me?’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Just do it. Turn yourself in, Akaashi.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Akaashi sighs and foots the pedal. The car races through the forested roads that were all but devoid of life at this hour. ‘Kenma, you’re overreacting.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘I’m not—you killed Aoi in cold blood.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘You’d do the same in my situation.’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘No, Akaashi. Murder isn’t an option in any circumstance.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Even when a person who you trusted holds a gun to your head?’ He muses. ‘I wonder if it’s okay in self-defence?’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘What’re you saying?’ Kenma feels the sweat trickle down his brow. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Akaashi sighs. ‘I knew this would happen.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘What?’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Kenma, you’ve been tailing me for weeks—even before Aoi. You’ve always been the only loose end in my plan.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The car veers suddenly and Kenma almost pulls the trigger. His breath catches in his throat as he realises what’s about to happen.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘No—Akaashi, you wouldn’t—’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Trust me, I didn’t want to do this either. I hoped it wouldn’t come to this.’ He smiles sadly. ‘I’m so sorry Kenma, but it’s time for you to go.’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘No, <em> please, </em>no.’ Kenma can’t stop the tears from flowing down his face. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘<em> I’ll shoot you— </em>’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Do it, then. God knows I deserve it.’ Akaashi releases the wheel and the car races down the road, skidding dangerously until it crashes through the bumper. The gun fires, but the bullet shatters through the windshield as they ram into a tree. The bonnet crumples like paper and the airbags release, upending the glass on the dashboard. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>For a moment, Kenma’s vision is white and shimmering— and then it goes dark.</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <b> <em>the end </em> </b>
</p>
<p><em> ‘Akaashi—’ </em>Kenma croaks as his friend leans over him and picks up the pistol, shoving it in his torn bag. ‘Can’t have the police finding this.’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kenma’s vision clears suddenly and his killer appears in technicolour. Akaashi is crying; dirty, red tears falling down his face as he hobbles around the wreckage. Kenma lies back in the seat and tries to sigh, but his lungs burn like hellfire. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Not long now.’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Call—hospital—’ He mutters, but Akaashi cups his face. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘You know I can’t do that. I’m sorry. You don’t know how sorry I am—’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kenma watches helplessly as his old friend holds a syringe to his neck and drains it. His mouth goes slack and his eyes droop as Akaashi leans into him. The burning fades to a dull warmth.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Sodium thiopental—so you don’t feel the pain.’ Akaashi chokes. ‘I’ll give you the pancuronium bromide now.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>There’s another injection that glimmers in the moonlight and the last thing Kenma hears is the soft hiss of the syringe before he falls asleep forever.</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <b> <em>aftermath</em> </b>
</p>
<p>Akaashi steps out of the police station to find Bokuto waiting for him. His boyfriend rushes forward and wraps him in a hug, almost suffocating him. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Hey, hey, hey.’ He whispers against Akaashi’s neck.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Easy—my broken arm is in pain.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Bokuto holds him at arm’s length and smiles. ‘Then, let’s get home so I can kiss it better.’  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘I’m so tired.’ He murmurs, ignoring the shadowy figure that trailed him—a shade of malevolence that he despised with all his being. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ever since the accident, he hadn’t been able to sleep. Kenma was everywhere, scolding him and screaming at him. But the screaming was far better than the crying and pleading. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>In the two weeks since the crash, the police had ruled Kenma’s death as an accident. The university mourned him alongside Aoi, whose body had also been discovered by a landscape painting student one sunny afternoon. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Akaashi whirls, eyes filled with rage. <em> ‘Kenma, will you just shut up.’  </em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>He’s aware that Bokuto is looking at him with a terrified concern. But he didn’t know what to do about it. Nobody knew. This was his punishment for killing his best friend in self-preservation. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Maybe you should come see my psychiatrist this week too.’ Bokuto ventures. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘I don’t want to, so stop asking me.’ He mutters. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Bokuto squeezes his hand. ‘I understand. It’ll be okay, Akaashii. I’m right here.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em> ‘You deserve to die for what you did—’ </em>Kenma screams behind him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Akaashi ignores both of them, more out of fatigue than anything. </p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p><b> <em>epilogue</em> </b> </p>
<p>The confrontation with Kuroo comes a full month after the accident. He storms into their apartment and holds Bokuto by the collar, yelling for Akaashi. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘He killed him—Bokuto, it was Akaashi.’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Calm down, Kuroo.’ Bokuto reassures him. ‘It wasn’t any of their faults. The car’s brakes failed—’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘No, Bokuto. Kenma left me voice notes that prove that Akaashi killed him and Aoi.’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Akaashi stiffens as the air goes cold. ‘Kuroo—’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Did you really do it?’ Bokuto cuts him off.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kenma laughs behind him and it bounces off the wall and pierces his ears like glass.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘He did— I have all the recordings right here.’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Akaashi doesn’t wait to see Bokuto’s face. He hobbles to the bookshelf and rips the books out, reaching into the hollow space in the back. His hand curls around the leather grip of Kenma’s pistol and he points it at Kuroo. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘It’s true. I killed Kenma, but I didn’t want to do it.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Bokuto gasps.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘You can shoot me. I’ve already sent everything to the police. They’ll be here any second now.’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Akaashi sighs. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘It’s all over, Akaashi. Look at Bokuto. You’ve broken his heart now. There’s no other choice— it’s time for you to go.’ Kenma grasps his shoulders and shakes him maniacally. </p>
<p> </p>
<p><em> ‘Akaashi—’ </em>Bokuto whimpers.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He screams and fires wildly. Kuroo crumples to the ground with a shout and blood pools around his shin.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p><em> ‘No—’ </em>The tears drip down his face as he stares at Bokuto. ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Akaashi<em> , </em> it’s alright. Just put the gun down.’ Bokuto’s eyes are wide with fear and Akaashi realises painfully that none of this would’ve happened if he hadn’t been there. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> Bokuto would’ve been so much happier without him. </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Finally, you see the monster that you’ve become.’ Kenma whispers into his ear. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> Bokuto will be so much happier without me. </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The sirens sound downstairs as he chokes on his own tears. <em> ‘I’m sorry— </em>I’m sorry for everything—’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Akaashi, please, don’t do anything.’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘No, Kotarou. There is only way to fix this mess that I’ve created.’ His voice quivers.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>As always, Bokuto realises his intentions far too late. Akaashi smiles softly as his boyfriend shakes his head and rushes towards him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Good bye, Kotarou.’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The pistol fires with a<em> crack </em> against Akaashi’s forehead and everything fades until all that’s left is a brilliant halo of gold— and then, it disappears too.</p>
<p>————————————————————————————————————————————————</p>
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